


A Red Eared Slider's... Tendencies

by pan_demic



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Basically Leo attempts to eat his brothers: the one shot, animalistic urges, no beta we die like men, not tcest, shitpost fic, tcesters BEGONE please?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pan_demic/pseuds/pan_demic
Summary: Leo's been acting suspicious lately...
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 81





	A Red Eared Slider's... Tendencies

**Author's Note:**

> So... did you know red eared sliders have cannibalistic tendencies? Because y e s.
> 
> PLease, no flames, I really just wanted to make a crack fic! I didn’t mean to offend or make anyone mad!!

"Hey, hasn't Leo been acting... weird lately?" Mikey asked.

They all were gathered at what could be called the lobby room. Right smack in the middle of the whole lair, like an upsidedown dome. Three turtle brothers were gathered there; Raph had been lifting some weights, Mikey reading a comic book he had grabbed from his room in a hurry, and Donnie looking at his phone with a bored expression.

"You mean how he's been disappearing for hours at a time, always trying to convince us to be alone with him in the kitchen, and keeps googling turtle soup recipes?" Donnie states in a matter-of-factly way, not looking up from his phone. "Because, yes, this is unusual behavior."

"Yeah!" Mikey exclaimed. "Why do you think that is?"

"You guys know how Leo is with his privacy, we shouldn't talk about him behind his back like this," Raph added in gruffly, focused on beating his record as he muttered numbers under his breath.

"I mean... well, yeah, I guess you're right." Mikey sighed, going back to his comics.

Red eyes peered from above them, before disappearing into a sewer pipe.

* * *

"Okay, Leo what is this 'surprise' of yours?" Raph asked through the blindfold, only able to see a blur of reds through the color-coded blindfold tied to his face. He would've done air quotes, except for the fact that the red-eared slider was holding him by the arms as he guided him forwards.

"Its called a surprise for a reason, big guy. Now, just lift your leg up." Leo said, and Raph relaxed a little at the calm tone.

"Man, Leo, this place is really hot. Where are we?" The snapper asks, getting chills at suddenly feeling his foot get wet, looking at the general direction of his brother. He takes a small sniff. "And why does it smell so good?"

"Jeez, Raph, you need to calm down with the questions, yeah? Do you even know what surprise means?" Leo scoffs. "Just trust me, kay? Other leg."

"Okay then..." He says reluctantly before sitting down at the request of the other.

"Ohoho, wow, you smell good," Leo says, his voice a little slurred as he took a deep breath in.

This raised alarm from the other. "Leo, what-"

"HEY RAPH, MIKEY GOT STUCK BEHIND THE FRIDGE AGAIN!!" Donnie's voice rang out from somewhere out the lair.

"CAN'T YOU GET HIM OUT YOURSELF? I'M KINDA DOING SOMETHING HERE WITH LEO!!" Raph yelled out as a reply, making the other wince, flinching away from the loud sound.

A distant roar of a chainsaw and screaming, and Raph immediately stood up in alarm, tripping over the edge in a hurry. "Sorry, Leo! Gotta go help Mikey." He says, before getting back on his feet and removing his blindfold.

"DONNIE, NO!!!" His voice rang out, and the red-eared slider was left alone.

"WAIT, RAPH, I-- ugh." Leo sighed, looking back at the big pot of cauldron mixed in with vegetables. "Great, now all the soup is wasted."

* * *

"Why do you need these huge instant ovens for again?" Donnie asks, dryly, inspecting his brother's crudely done drawing of three suspiciously mutant-turtle-brother-shaped ovens.

"Donnie, buddy, chum, pal, friend, amigo-" Leo started.

"Just get to the point, Leo."

"Can't a turtle ask his brother for suspicious items without any unwarranted questions?"

"No."

Donnie groaned when Leo didn't leave at his outright refusal. Here we go again...

"But what about our twin bond, Donnie??" Leo asked dramatically.

"We never had that, Leo."

Leo gasped scandalously, "WHAT!? I- You've broken my heart, Dee'!" He put a hand to his plastron as to where his heart would've been

"Okay, so, can you lea- OOMPH!" Donnie yelped as Leo fell backward onto his brother's lap on where he was sitting, his shell uncomfortable wedging Donnie between his shell and his seat.

"OH DONALD, I'M SO SAD, YOU REALLY BROKE ME!! HOW WILL I EVER RECOVER FROM THIS CATASTROPHE!?" Leo wailed fakely, as Donnie struggled to get free, growling.

"Get OFF me, Leo, I'm warning you!"

"Not until you make the ovens!"

When silence was met with his request, he started loudly complaining about his feelings again. It annoyed the softshell to no end. as he grit his teeth.

"Ugh! Fine, okay! I'll _consider_ it. Just... stop bothering me!"

"YES!! You will definitely not regret this, maybe." He says, rolling off the seat and running off, leaving Donnie to sigh, throwing the drawing onto the ideas pile.

* * *

Mikey smelled the delicious waft of his favorite pizza before he could see it.

  
Following the smell, he found himself lured into the kitchen, to an open box. He looks around swiftly, before running over, leaning over to grab a slice when the box suddenly shuts close, making the other yelp as he retracted his hand.

"Leo!?" He asks incredulously, seeing his older brother seemingly appear out of nowhere, a familiar smug smirk on his face. "Where did you come from? What- I- why'd you do that!?" 

Now holding his hand protectively, Mikey sent a hurt look at his brother.

"You want some pizza, right, Mike?" He says.

"Duh!" Leo put a finger up to his beak.

"Shhhhh! Do you want the others to find out?" Mikey cocked his head, confused. Leo deadpanned, "The others don't know there's pizza." He explains.

"Ooooooh, so it's like our little secret?" The youngest whispers, and the blue-banded brother nods, quirking his eyebrows.

"Okay!"

"Wait, Mike, ya' gotta promise me something."

"Sure, anything!"

"When I tell you, will you jump in this deliciou- _I mean_ , relaxing tub of hot, boiling water?" He reveals a cauldron from behind a curtain, being warmed up by the stove.

"Why are there vegetables in it?"

"Those are spices, to uh... make you calmer. I read it, on the internet. The internet _never_ lies." Leo's confident smile faltered a little as Mikey narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms, and raised an eyebrow. The stance of a disbelieving person.

After five seconds of no movement, and a sweaty Leo, Mikey then smiled, showing his teeth and nodded. "Okay!" He said happily.

Leo blinked, and gave the littlest brother the pizza box, a smile back on his face as he rubbed his hands together, chuckling to himself.

"Leo, you genius." He mutters to himself.

"Sorry, did you say something? I was busy stuffing my face with pizza." Mikey piped in, an innocent smile on his face.

"Oh, no, its nothing. Just... keep _stuffing_ yourself. Hehehehe. As Meatsweats would say, it would really.. _unleash the flávour._ " He says, trying to copy the villain’s accent, as his giggle slowly evolved into evil laughter, and Mikey just laughed along with him.

Once the other finishes the whole pizza by himself however, Mikey absentmindedly starts to walk away, full and smiling to himself.

Leo, who was on the phone, looks up to see that the youngest sibling has wandered off, then groaned.

This wasn’t _working_.

No, he had to get all of them at the same time.

Chuckling to himself once more, he runs off to formulate a plan.

* * *

"AHA, I KNEW it!!" Donnie pointed at the red-earned slider, who looked shocked.

"H-how did you know?" Leo asks, flabbergasted at his defeat.

"Oh, Leo, I know you like the back of my three-fingered green hand, you ALWAYS play a yellow card after you place a wild card, and so, my understandably naive brother, I play a plus four, making you skip a turn and I, to win!" Donnie grinned, slamming the last red 4 card in his hand, getting applause from the other two brothers that had lost 15 minutes and 20 minutes ago specifically.

"Oh darn, aw man, you're so good Don." Leo said, cleaning up the card from the floor and putting them back in the deck with a malicious glint in his eye.

"Yes, I know, I know, I _am_ a genius." The softshell boasted, letting himself bask in the compliments.

"You know, all this playing has gotten me famished, I say, why don't you all follow me to our, ehem, jacuzzi," Leo says casually, smoothly inserting his suggestion to all his brothers.

"WE HAVE A JACUZZI!?" Mikey asks, incredulously.

"What, how did you install a jacuzzi by yourself with all of us not knowing about this?" Donnie asks, suspicious of his brother.

"Yeah, of course, now come on. It's all nice and hot just for all of you." Leo says with a girn, getting up and looking back to make sure all of his brothers were following him.

* * *

"I cannot believe you tried eating your brothers!!" Splinter reprimanded angrily, hitting his son in the back of his head.

Leo frowned and grumbled, before getting another smack.

"Ow! I was hungry, okay! And the stuff here wasn't good enough anymore, and Raph just looked so _delicious_ \- OW!!" The slider rubbed the back of his head, and for once finally looked apologetic.

"Uhm, ehem, my dearest father, may I add that red-eared sliders are notorious for, er, _cannibalism_." Donnie chimes in, before getting a glare from the rat mutant, obviously not in the mood for his son's _bullshit_.

"AND YOU THREE, WHY WOULD YOU JUMP IN A CAULDRON FULL OF BOILING HOT WATER AND SOUP AND SPICES BEING BURNT OVER A _LITERAL FIRE_!!!" He screams, as they all flinch, all bruising burns all over their bodies.

"Well, pops, Leo said it was a jacuzzi, and none of us actually knew what jacuzzis were." Raph attempted to explain, before getting hit by their father's tail this time.

The whole night was spent getting scolded by Splinter, and getting laughed at later on by April who came for a visit.

This time, maybe Leo will just settle for his favorite pizza.

**Author's Note:**

> I made this on a whim, so it's pretty badly written, but I still had fun writing this! Hope you had just as much fun as me at this silly one shot. XD
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading! Kudos and comments, as always, are much appreciated!


End file.
